I’m Not Breaking Up With You.

Reading Time: 4 minutes

Hello Internet. It’s been a while.

I’m deeply sorry I walked away from you about a month ago and didn’t give you an explanation. I understand you’re mad. As soon as I saw your messages, I ignored them, swaddled myself up in a blanket of sadness and depression, and continued drowning my sorrows away with cheap wine from 7/11. So, I ghosted you, as the cool kids say nowadays. You must think I’m an asshole. That statement could be valid under a plethora of different circumstances, but not in this case. 

The truth is I’m overwhelmed. There’s so much I want to do, but my time is running out. I need to find out what matters and what doesn’t. What gives me satisfaction and what gives me a headache the Excedrins are never going to alleviate.

And I figured it out (I think). 

I want to tell you what’s going to happen to Gabriel Lucatero TV and GLTV Español.

Suppose you have been one of the first friendly individuals who have seen these videos from the beginning. In that case, you remember that at first, I had no idea what I was doing.

I still don’t know what I’m doing.

But I’m getting somewhere.

See, when I started this project, my first intention was to share my fiction with you in a different way. What I have done for the last seven, eight years is to publish everything on Amazon Kindle and hope for the best; and the best never happened. Therefore, after I finally got out of my comfort zone and noticed that people were listening to stories more than reading them, I said to myself, “What the fuck? Why don’t you read them, too?”

And then I answered, “Um… because I have an accent and I am so ashamed of it, I don’t want the world to know how I sound?”

And then I said, “Well, that’s true, your accent sucks, but so do the accents of the rest of the population. Nobody is perfect.”

I guess that’s right. 

After having gone through some changes this past month, I realized I wasn’t entirely in sync with my first intention. Sure, I am making videos where I read my fiction, but I’m also goofing around with other kinds of shit that doesn’t matter. I’m making videos about the books I’ve read as if that makes me some fucking genius. I’m playing with characters on the screen as if talking to the made-up people in my stories isn’t enough.

As some of you know, I don’t write for a living. I write because I like doing it. While some guys masturbate to porn in their free time, I am doing something meaningful with my life. And when I am not writing, I go to work at a restaurant. It’s not a bad job, the pay is good, the people there are like family. And the food? Oh, God! I can eat that all day! 

In other words, I am fucking busy, internet. Again, I’m sorry I am making fewer videos. I need to be wise with my time. Sure, now and then, I’m going to tell about the book I read, or whatever the fuck I learned from it, but I will not make that the main attraction here, unless this is the only job I have, of course.

I know, you probably think we’re breaking up because I’m pretty much telling you that we’re just going to have a casual relationship. But don’t worry, I’m not ready to break up with you. Yet.

Okay? Moving on.

So this is what’s going to happen:

First, I am going to read the chapters from The Galuri Outis Memoirs—all of them. So sit back, relax, because it’s going to take a while. After that, I’ll read another one of my books. In the beginning, I was reading and posting videos from two stories, and, from a listener’s perspective, I can see how confusing that can be. Why am I doing that with you, Internet? I don’t know, maybe because I have no idea what I’m doing? I’m new in this relationship, too, so give me a break!  

Second, I will tell you one or two things about books, reading, and writing, without pretending to know more than you. I just want to share something to kill time, since killing myself is out of the question.

And third, there is not third. Didn’t I just tell you I am busy?

And before you ask if we’re going to see each other every week, or every two weeks, let me tell you: I don’t know. I really don’t. I have a lot of work at the restaurant now that the pandemic is almost over and people are allowed to eat inside, so my schedule just got a bit busier. Out of everything I do, there are currently two important things I have to do every day: One, work on my new book to avoid going crazy for lack of productivity, and two, work at the restaurant to avoid going broke for lack of money. Obviously.

I know, Internet. Our relationship just went from committed to casual. I wish I could be making videos and podcasts all day long, but I can’t right now.

Just between you and me, I don’t have a lot of people watching me talk to myself in front of a camera. I need more.

So, welcome to the new era in the life of Gabriel Lucatero: Author. Immigrant. Human Being. And if you think this is not the kind o relationship you want to be in, I can understand that. I simply don’t have the financial stability to be with you all the time as you want me to be.

But I know I will.

Be safe. 

And don’t forget: Keep writing your story.

Until next time. 

P. S., Want to watch the video? Look below

I’m not breaking up with you: https://youtu.be/lnBpQ7yh6Zw (English Video)

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