Real Talk: New Year’s Resolutions Are Trash

Here’s Why You Don’t Need Them:

Let’s get one thing straight: New Year’s resolutions are the diet pills of personal growth. They promise transformation, sprinkle in a little hope, and leave you exactly where you started—only with more guilt.

Still thinking about setting some? Let me save you the trouble. They don’t work. Statistics back this up: about 80% of people abandon their resolutions by February. By March? Those gym memberships are gathering dust. The manuscript you vowed to finish hasn’t seen the light of day. You’re stuck wondering why you ever made a list of promises to yourself in the first place.

Here’s the truth: New Year’s resolutions fail because they’re built on the flimsiest foundations—shame, pressure, and an arbitrary date. Want proof? Let’s break it down.

1. The Timing is Arbitrary

What makes January 1 so special? It’s not like your bad habits suddenly take a vacation because the calendar flipped. If you’re serious about changing something in your life, you don’t need fireworks or a countdown to get started.

The best time to improve your life is when you’re ready. And spoiler alert: that might not be a Monday, the first of the month, or even January. Real change isn’t waiting for a specific date to give you permission. It’s waiting for you to decide you’re tired of your own excuses.

I once tried to “start fresh” on January 1 by committing to write a new story every week. Guess what? By Week 3, I was already overwhelmed, drowning in my own expectations, and nowhere near finishing anything. I scrapped the whole idea, started focusing on one manageable goal at a time, and found I could actually stick to it.

Lesson learned: Change starts whenever you stop making excuses—not because the ball dropped.

2. They’re Rooted in Shame

Think about most resolutions:

• “I’ll lose weight because I hate my body.”

• “I’ll write more because I’m not productive enough.”

• “I’ll get organized because my life’s a mess.”

Notice a theme? Resolutions are often born from a place of self-loathing rather than self-love. And here’s the thing: starting a journey of self-improvement with shame as the engine is like trying to power a rocket with a matchstick. It burns out fast, leaving you stranded.

Self-awareness is key, and guilt-driven goals rarely stick. You don’t need to bully yourself into change. Instead, ask yourself: What would make my life feel richer, more exciting, more meaningful? That’s the kind of motivation that lasts.

3. They’re Vague AF

“Be healthier.” “Write more.” “Get organized.”

Okay, but how? Resolutions are often fluffy clouds of good intentions with zero actionable steps. Without a plan, there is no progress.

I’ve been guilty of this myself. I once decided to “write more” without specifying what that meant. Was it an hour a day? A chapter a week? I had no clue. So, naturally, nothing happened. I started seeing real results when I finally broke it down into small, clear steps—like committing to 15 focused minutes of writing every morning.

The bottom line is that vague goals lead to vague outcomes. You need a plan, not just a Pinterest-worthy vision board.

4. Life Happens

Resolutions assume the next 12 months will be smooth sailing. Newsflash: they won’t be. Life throws curveballs—unexpected bills, sick days, creative slumps, you name it.

Rigid goals crumble under pressure. So when you inevitably miss a milestone, instead of adjusting, you feel like you’ve failed and give up entirely. Resolutions thrive on this vicious cycle.

I remember a year ago when I resolved to finish my first novel by June. By February, however, life had other plans: work deadlines piled up, family emergencies hit, and I couldn’t stick to my overly ambitious schedule. Instead of pivoting, I beat myself up, shelved the project, and labeled myself a failure. It wasn’t until months later that I picked it back up—this time without the arbitrary deadlines—and actually finished it.

5. They’re a Distraction

Here’s the kicker: Resolutions give you the illusion of progress when you’re just procrastinating. Writing “finish my novel” on a piece of paper doesn’t get you any closer to finishing it. Do you know what does? Sitting down and writing.

Sometimes, resolutions are just an elaborate way to avoid the messy, unglamorous work of real change. They let you feel productive without actually doing the thing that matters.

So, What’s the Alternative?

Forget resolutions. They’re outdated, performative, and ultimately useless. Instead, focus on intentions—small, actionable habits you can actually stick to.

• Want to write more? Start with 10 focused minutes a day.

• Want to get healthier? Drink more water or take a short walk daily.

• Want to declutter your life? Clean one drawer at a time.

Progress isn’t about grand gestures; it’s about tiny, sustainable wins that build over time.

This year, ditch the glittery lies of New Year’s resolutions and focus on doing the work. No shame. No fluff. Just real, messy, imperfect growth. Because real change doesn’t start on January 1—it starts whenever the hell you decide.

Your Call to Action

If you’re tired of chasing empty promises, try something different this year. Pick one small thing you can start today—yes, today—and commit to it. Then, let the rest unfold.

Because life isn’t waiting for you to set the perfect resolution. It’s waiting for you to show up, flaws and all, and take the first step.