Real Talk: The Digital Hustle; Wrestling with the Internet and My Own Sanity

Let me tell you a story.

Once upon a time, there was a writer. A damn good one. A writer who wanted nothing more than to put his work out into the world, connect with readers, and—dare he dream?—actually get paid for it. But in the modern age, writing isn’t just about writing. Oh no. That would be too easy. Instead, it’s about setting up accounts, configuring payment systems, navigating tax forms, and deciphering the eldritch horrors of email confirmations that never arrive. And so, my friends, for the last two weeks, I’ve been knee-deep in the technical side of things—a place no writer ever wants to be.

Substack: A Crash Course in Monetizing My Soul

Starting with Substack, I logged into my dashboard, expecting a simple “click here to make money” button. Instead, I found myself staring at a detailed breakdown of every financial setting imaginable. I swear, I focused on that shit harder than I did when I was trying to memorize the catechism as a kid. Dios mio! Que es esto? I connected my Stripe account, thinking, “Sweet, that was easy.” But no. Stripe, like an overprotective gatekeeper, hit me with “Under Review” status.

For two days.

I imagined a group of Stripe executives in a darkened room, reviewing my case like some kind of digital initiation.

“So, this guy wants to make money from his writing?”

“Tch. Bold move.”

“Shall we let him in?”

“Hmm. Make him wait. See if he really wants it.”

Eventually, they caved and approved me. But for a moment there, I thought they were gonna demand an initiation rite—something like sacrificing an old typewriter or proving I could write a viral thread on X without using the phrase “link in bio.”

Medium: A Rare Moment of Sanity

Then came Medium. Now, Medium was a breath of fresh air because, for once, something actually worked. Since my Stripe account was already connected, all I had to do was fill out a tax form. And listen, if you know anything about me, you know that I’ve spent enough time in the insurance world to make tax forms my bitch. I breezed through that, and within minutes, Medium was like, “Cool, welcome to the Partner Program.” No waiting. No review period. Just boom, you’re in. I briefly considered sending Stripe an email that just said, See? Medium trusts me. But I figured they wouldn’t appreciate my sarcasm.

My Website: Where Dreams Go to Die

And then… my website. If Substack was a challenge and Medium was a walk in the park, WordPress was a flaming dumpster rolling downhill. I decided to use Jetpack by WordPress to set up paid subscriptions, thinking it would be seamless. Spoiler alert: it was not. I could technically add payment tiers, but new members weren’t receiving their confirmation emails—which is kinda important when you’re trying to build a subscriber base.

So I reached out to Jetpack support, and to their credit, they’re on it. I have no doubt the tech wizards over there will get it fixed, but why is this so hard? Why can’t it be as simple as clicking a button and shouting, Take my money! At this point, I was exhausted. I had spent days trying to get all these systems to talk to each other, and I realized something:

I fucking hate this part of the job.

I don’t want to be tech support. I don’t want to be a goddamn systems engineer. I just want to write.

Why I’ve Been Off Social Media (And Why It Matters)

If you’ve been wondering why I’ve been MIA on social media, this is why.

I’ve been locked in battle with digital bureaucracy, fighting to get my writing in front of the right people without losing my mind. And look, this isn’t just about me. This is about making sure my work is actually sustainable. Writing isn’t just a hobby for me—it’s what I do. It’s what I love. And frankly, I don’t have all the time in the world to wait.

I don’t know how many more years I have left on this planet, but I know I want to spend them writing, not wrestling with broken email confirmations. So yeah, these last two weeks have been a pain in the ass. But they’ve also been necessary. Because at the end of the day, this is about putting my work out there and building something that lasts.

And once I’ve got all this sorted?

Oh, you better believe I’ll be back—writing more, ranting more, and maybe even making a joke or two about how Stripe put me through the five stages of grief before letting me get paid.

Stay tuned.