Real Talk: Additional Information Required

The last time I wrote one of these Real Talk articles, I ended with “I’ve got shit to do.” Apparently, that required a follow-up.

Since then, I’ve been trying to build an insurance business. This involves applications, phone calls, passwords, expenses, and discovering that the thing you just completed allows you to begin the next thing; a never-ending, bureaucratic cycle. Nevertheless, I see it as an exciting moment because it reminds me why I opened the computer in the first place.

I’ve also been writing, helping with Chamber events, spending time with loved ones, and trying to keep my old Toyota from developing additional opinions about my financial situation. A few weeks ago, I was changing the time on the dashboard clock. I pressed the button too hard and pushed the entire clock into the dashboard. It still worked. It was simply keeping time somewhere I could no longer conveniently see it. I had wanted to adjust the hour, but now I needed somebody who understood dashboard removal.

That has been a fairly accurate introduction to my recent life.

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Starting an insurance business sounds manageable when you say it quickly. I already have my licenses. I know how to talk to clients. I know how to prepare quotes, explain coverage, and follow up with someone who said they would call me right back sometime during the previous administration. There should be a reasonable way to connect those skills to earning a living.

But, like everything in life, it requires paperwork.

I signed up with First Connect, bought my own errors and omissions insurance, submitted my tax information, and gained access to carriers. For twenty-six dollars a month, I could at least check one necessary expense off the list. Getting access felt good. After spending so much time asking what I could do next, I had something concrete to work with. Then came the business name, the county filing, newspaper publication, questions about licensing records, and the distinction between operating under my own name and obtaining the credentials certain companies wanted.

I have spent a remarkable amount of time learning how many different ways an application can ask who I am. Individual? Sole proprietor? Business entity? Do you have an agency number? Have you obtained approval for the name you just paid to publish? By the end, I wanted to attach a picture of myself holding that morning’s newspaper.

I filed Gabriel Lucatero Insurance Services and worked on the branding. Gold, white background, something clean. A friend had pointed out that an earlier logo looked appropriate for a nightclub. I could see his point. Ideally, someone looking for homeowners insurance shouldn’t wonder whether I also offer bottle service.

Seeing my name on the business still meant something. I’ve spent years working under other people’s names, learning their systems and helping build their books. Putting my own name there gave me something to work toward, along with a growing collection of things to pay for.

A Small Business Can Still Have Expensive Problems

I’ve been looking at different ways to access insurance companies. Empower is another one I tried, and there are other opportunities, other applications, other conversations about how their particular system works.

I also tried Bolt. I paid, looked more closely at the monthly cost and the process, and decided I couldn’t justify keeping it while I was barely getting started. So I canceled. I would have preferred to understand everything before spending the money. That would have been a pleasant little improvement to the experience.

You can research, ask questions, watch videos, and still reach a point where you realize the service doesn’t meet your needs. Then you have to make a decision while being irritated about the money already spent. I’m trying to get better at that part. There are enough expenses ahead without keeping one around because I’m embarrassed I signed up.

I considered another job opportunity, too. Salary, commissions, training, a commute. There were good reasons to think about it carefully. Meanwhile, I was gaining access to markets of my own and trying to understand what I could build from where I already was. These decisions take up considerable room in your head. You can be eating lunch while mentally comparing compensation arrangements, carrier access, gasoline, and how much uncertainty your bank account can tolerate.

The food gets cold during this process.

The Office Has Been Working Overtime

There’s another part of these weeks that’s harder to put into an article. For a stretch, I’ve been sleeping at the office with Bobby’s permission. I’ve also been working there, answering questions, preparing quotes, and trying to create enough income to improve the situation. Having somewhere to stay has mattered. So has having someone willing to help while I figure things out.

I’m grateful for that. But I’m also tired. There are days when I feel capable and days when every small problem arrives with the weight of several larger ones. A website won’t load. An application asks for something I don’t have. A quote needs more information. I have to slow down and deal with the actual question in front of me. The client deserves a clear answer, regardless of how much sleep I got.

We Still Need the Flyer

Somewhere in all of this, December started demanding my attention, even though we are only in the middle of November. The Hispanic Chamber has a holiday event coming up at Corazón Comedor. There were photos to include, logos to arrange, dimensions to adjust, and a grand opening and ribbon-cutting to add.

I also attended a meeting with Roy Lee (a local politician) and considered what to ask about the problems people are dealing with locally. Housing has a way of becoming a very specific subject when your own situation is uncertain.

I’ve stayed involved because these relationships and commitments matter to me. I like contributing. I like seeing a finished flyer and knowing people can use it. Sometimes it’s a relief to work on something with a clear result, even if that result needs the address enlarged one more time. The calendar keeps moving. People are planning workshops and ordering appetizers while I’m trying to determine which application needs my license uploaded again.

I suppose that’s how a community operates. Everybody brings whatever they can manage that week.

Somehow, There’s Still a Novel

Through all of this, I am somehow still working on a novel. I recognize that this raises questions about my judgment. There are plenty of practical matters asking for attention, and I’ll still find myself thinking about a character, a scene, or a chapter that needs work. Apparently, my brain believes we have sufficient resources to manage additional people, provided they’re imaginary.

I’ve continued writing short fiction, too. I worked on “In Case of Emergency,” revised sentences, argued with myself about how much of an ending needs to be explained, and kept going. I also wrote a book review after our club read Things Have Gotten Worse Since We Last Spoke. We had opinions. Very few of them would help sell the book, though.

Writing continues to give me pleasure even when everything surrounding it feels difficult. I enjoy finding a better sentence. I enjoy watching a scene come together after I’ve spent too long making it worse. There’s satisfaction in finishing something I can actually read from beginning to end. The novel requires patience, and I’m working on that alongside several other qualifications I apparently need.

Some Assembly Required

There have been ordinary annoyances, too. A printer that refused to cooperate. Password problems. The clock hanging inside my dashboard. Those things can be funny once they stop happening directly to you.

Looking over these weeks, I can see how much I’ve done. I can also see what still needs attention. The business is taking shape, money remains a concern, and I need a stable place to live. I’m allowed to be pleased about the work I’ve completed while wanting the situation to improve considerably. For now, I have applications underway, companies I can quote with, clients to follow up with, community commitments, and a novel that continues to demand my attention.

I’ll keep working through them.

I should probably get the clock fixed, too. I’d like to know what time all this shit is happening.

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